This is Anna and Oli’s birth story of their beautiful boy, Bill. It’s a useful account to reassure you if, when you arrive at a birth centre or hospital you are ‘not dilated enough’. Please note I have added some comments which are clearly marked in the story - these are to aid your understanding and your own birth plans. Congratulations Anna and Oli - such a beautiful birth under very challenging circumstances!
The first sign that ‘something might be happening’ was at 11am on Tuesday 28th, when a small amount of my mucus plug came away. At this point it was a case of not getting too excited, because I knew we could still be a long way from meeting our little bundle. When the rest of my ‘bloody show’ came at 1pm, however, we started to believe that things might really be moving along, so we focussed on keeping the oxytocin flowing. Oli played bass while I kept moving, dancing around and stroking my bump.
About 2pm we decided to do the grocery shopping – partly because we’d already planned to do it that day, and partly because if Baby was coming, it would probably be a good idea to have some food in the house! So off we went to Morrisons, and around 3pm, while shopping, period-like aches turned into surges, ebbing and flowing with increasing strength. By the time we were heading home, I’d started to use my hypnobirthing breathing techniques to manage each surge.
Getting home around 4pm, we ordered KFC and started watching Notting Hill, curled up on the sofa. More oxytocin! At this time (4:15pm) I started timing my surges, which were coming sporadically between 5 and 11 minutes apart. By the end of the movie, I needed to focus to maintain my breathing, and decided to take a bath for a bit of relaxation and relief.
Until about 6pm my surges were steadily about 5 minutes apart. I was calm and felt confident my baby’s birth was progressing. At 6:50pm Oli called the Maternity Assessment Centre (MAC) at the hospital to update them, and confirmed I was comfortable continuing to labour at home. By 7:30pm my surges were every 3-4 minutes, but still quite low intensity. I had another bath and then stayed in the bedroom with Oli, labouring on the bed in active positions, mostly on all fours. The intensity of surges fluctuated and having been up all day I decided to try to get some sleep around 10pm. I mentally prepared myself for labour to continue for many more hours (hoping it wouldn’t be days!).
Once I laid down the surges slowed to 5-6 minutes apart but remained regular. Oli stayed with me in the bedroom, and after about an hour he suggested I stand up again and see if anything had changed. As soon as I was upright the surges came strongly, 2.5 minutes apart. This was a solid ‘3 in 10’ and certainly felt like what I imagined ‘proper labour’ would feel like. All the way through I was focussed on my breathing, and remaining calm and relaxed. My birth bag was ready to go, and Oli called Paul, our ‘hospital taxi’.
At 11:15pm Paul arrived, and we called the MAC again at 11:35 to let them know we were on our way. The car ride was far less pleasant than being at home – especially wearing a restrictive seatbelt – but I remained calm and focussed on every surge bringing me closer to meeting my baby. Oli and I had also both embedded the affirmation that “I can do anything for a minute”, which helped me throughout labour.
At midnight we arrived at the MAC, my surges still coming about 2.5 minutes apart. We handed over my birth plan and I requested not to be vaginally examined. I was hoping to go straight through to the Lotus Midwifery Unit (LMU), so the assessing midwife went to ask the LMU lead midwife if I could go through without the examination. Upon returning, she apologised that while she always wants to respect a patient’s wishes, the lead midwife wouldn’t let me go through to the LMU without a vaginal examination to ensure I was in active labour. [Birth and Baby Hub note: please know that you have the right to refuse an examination and you legally cannot be denied care if you decline one. Coercing expectant parents into procedures is not ok. We discuss this on our hypnobirthing courses.]
She examined me. I was only 1cm dilated. [Birth and Baby Hub note: this could well be because of the car journey, or more likely the unpleasant discussion about ‘having’ to have an examination, and this mama feeling like she had no option but have one - these things can actually regress the cervix.]
This was a blow. Despite the midwife’s assurance that my cervix had softened well, and this progress was good for a first birth, I was very disappointed. Until this point I’d remained very positive and calm, and I had believed things were really moving along. I was stunned to hear I was only 1cm, and immediately wondered a) how long this would go on for and b) how bad and painful this labour would get. It took focus to reclaim my calm, but I did it.
At this point it was about 00:30am, and we were given two choices; either go home or stay for a couple of hours in the MAC to see if I dilated further (up to the 4cm I needed to be able to go through to the LMU). The midwife acknowledged that the bright environment of the MAC wasn’t what I wanted for my labour but offered to bring a birth ball so I could remain active. Desperate to avoid another two car rides, I elected to stay and use the birth ball. I felt sure my labour was progressing well enough.
I laboured on the birth ball until 2am, letting out deep moans and vomiting quite a bit in the process! Then I was re-examined, only to discover I was a mere 2cm – one centimetre in almost 2 hours. Another blow. And another ‘wobble’, where the surges felt far harder to manage, and I had to refocus. I knew things in labour could change and there was no set ‘time frame’ for dilation, but I began to think things would continue to go ‘slowly’ for me.
Another two choices were offered; either go home, or transfer to the antenatal ward to stay overnight. The latter would have meant separating from Oli, which was not something I was prepared to do, since his hands had become essential for squeezing to manage the surges. I chose to go home, and Oli called Paul at 2:25am.
Before going home I needed to use the toilet (for a poo!), so I hobbled off down the corridor. While in there, two intense surges hit me – hard. They were more intense than anything so far, and I had to brace myself against the wall and sink, hollering like a bull. When I came out, Oli was waiting for me, having heard the noise from quite far away! We walked back to the beds, and I had a transitional ‘wobble’, telling Oli I didn’t want to do this, I couldn’t do it, and I wanted it to stop. Knowing to expect this, Oli put his hands on my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and reassured me that I could do it and I would do it.
At this point I hadn’t realised I was going into active labour, so I still thought I was going to be sent home. The idea of that terrified me, because the surges were such that I now couldn’t imagine getting into the car at all. I pleaded with the midwife that I didn’t feel able to go home, and seeing how things had clearly escalated she reassured me that I wasn’t going anywhere right now. She said that she wanted to re-examine me when I felt able. I was also offered some form of painkiller pill – codeine? Co-codamol? I’m not sure, but I took it!
Oli texted Paul at 2:40am to say that we were staying at the hospital, and I got on the bed to be examined again. At this point it was pretty clear things had progressed in intensity, because when Oli tried to cover my ‘modesty’ with a towel (as he had previously done), I shouted “Fuck the towel!” Then, immediately after examining me, the midwife announced they were taking me straight through to the LMU for delivery. (I found out later that I was 4cm dilated at this point.) A Covid test had to be done – a bit unpleasant which mid-surge on my hands and knees! – and after being asked a) if I could walk to the LMU and b) if I’d like to put my knickers and trousers back on (unsurprisingly I didn’t want to do either of those things!) – I was wheeled through to the LMU with a sheet over my lap. [Birth and Baby Hub note: All of this just shows that Anna’s instincts were right all along, and she should have been admitted in the first place - mama’s instincts are very strong!].
Once in the LMU the environment was lovely! I had a two-room suite with dim lighting and an inviting warm bath, which I was only too happy to slip into! The new midwife reminded us about playing our music, and brought the gas and air – which I looooved! I remember looking at the clock when I went into the water – 3:11am.
The next two hours are a little hazy in my memory… I remember the midwife doing intermittent monitoring, reaching into the water to my bump. I leant forward against the side of the bath, holding Oli’s hand in my left, and the gas and air mouthpiece in my right. It was so calm and focussed, and there was so little intrusion on our little ‘bubble’. At some point the midwife offered for me to get out of the water so they would be able to apply pressure to reduce tearing, but I was loving the water too much to contemplate getting out for any reason.
At 4:10am I looked at the clock for the last time. And then the pushing began. Until about half an hour till baby arrived, I was still in the same position as before, and the midwives couldn’t see anything that was going on at the ‘business end’. After pushing for half an hour they asked me to get out so they could check on the progress of the birth, but by this point I knew things were moving towards the ‘end game’, and I reached down to feel baby’s head, still encased in the sac. [Birth and Baby Hub note: Love this mama’s strong instincts again! It’s crazy that the midwives wanted to disturb this mama by getting her out of the pool at this stage, just so they could check on progress - remember YOU call the shots during birth.]
This reassured the midwives that everything was still OK, so I remained where I was for another 15 minutes or so. Finally they asked me to turn so they could see the baby as it came out, so I turned with my back against the side of the bath. Oli was positioned behind me, bracing himself on the bath side, while I levered myself up by his arms for every push. I felt baby’s head moving down the birth canal, and a ‘pop’ which could have been the sac bursting but felt at the time like it was tears happening (!). For one surge I even had an ‘out-of-body’ experience, which was excellent because I didn’t feel anything at all! But that didn’t last long, and soon I was being told to put down the gas and air and do my final push. Moments later, little William came out and I reached into the water, lifting him out for Oli to announce we had a baby boy! At 5:08am (about 14 hours since my first surges) the amazing moment of meeting our gorgeous boy had finally come.
As soon as he came out, all my clarity returned, and I could hardly believe we’d done it. An absolutely miraculous and magically moment! I birthed the placenta naturally about 10 minutes later, after snuggling skin-to-skin with my beautiful baby.”